a twelve-step item: lies

I told BB a little story the other day that I was immediately wishing I had not told him. It was the story of how I lied to a person who was very forgetful, telling her she had told me to do what I was doing. I did it in self-preservation, but that didn't make it right. Now I worry BB, who is also forgetful, will think I do that to him. I do not, though I have to admit, I have considered it.

It was wrong to lie. I know why I did it, I did what I thought I "had" to do. Sigh. But it was still wrong.

I do not want to write more about it for fear the person in question will recognize herself if she stumbles on this site. I probably should "make amends," but not necessarily by being honest about it. Yr not 'sposed to make amends if doing so would cause harm, and I think that would. I need to do something nice for the person in question, or for someone like her.

I am doing step 5 by admitting this to you and God. Step nine I have to do, too. This is also step ten, since I've already done more than one inventory--it's a continuing to take personal inventory and when you were wrong, promptly admitted it step. I was wrong. WAHN!

I hate being wrong, but I was.