Dear Mike,
The walls are watching
And have taken note
Of the lurking absurdity since you’ve been gone
Cracks are peeping in
On my cross-dressing roommate painting his toenails
In the room that used to be your office
He’s moved his adolescent internet girlfriend in
And insists that he really doesn’t like clothes
She’s pondering on the back porch
Burning bugs
Because he wants her to be thin like me
My just-out-of-prison boyfriend
Expounds in the living room
On self glorified escapades
With three women slaves
He thinks I’m willful
Insists that I put your pictures away
And that the naked roommate has to go
Mom calls
Johnny Malonny has started a family feud
The enemy family has jacked with her hot water heater
And she can’t get it relit
By the way, what time is it?
For the forth time today…
Insists that she’s my daughter
And that she’s been here before
She’s worried that I’ve become a lesbian
I pour myself another drink and swear I can hear
The foundation’s manic moan
And the support beam’s crazed creak
Tell a bizarre tale
Through cracks in the walls of the once stable home
We shared
How did things get so weird?
I made this picture over a year ago for Illustration Friday, and decided today that it needed a poem to go with it. The eyes are actually the eyes of the roommate and boyfriend mentioned in the poem. The poem is about a time period from '05 to '06 when my health took a turn for the worse. I ran into the boyfriend at the grocery store not too long ago. His demeanor had changed. He seemed more humble [I'm using that term loosely]. After talking with him for a while, he mentioned that he was going to AA. Ah, that explained it. Really though, I was so happy to hear that. In fact, I was surprised at how happy it made me, because when I first saw him, I was trying to hide, hoping he wouldn't see me. I could see that he sincerely wanted to make amends. He apologized for the way he treated me, and I forgave him. I hope he stays with it. As far as the cross-dressing roommate and his pyromaniac girlfriend, they broke up, and he still owes me $500. Glad that chapter's over.
6 comments:
Life takes so many strange twists and turns it's amazing! I remember the picture. WOW! That's a lot of heavy stuff in the poem, hope you're OK remembering it!
We're having a snowstorm/blizzard. Schools are closed.
I am grateful because I am at my lowest weight since before thanksgiving--since 11/11! I've been struggling to diet. But I am making some progress, but very tempted by holiday treats all around me.
I had to sign in! I don't know why! Usually I don't!
I just reread this--WOW again, even more than I thought the first time!
Well... like I said, I'm glad that chapter is over. Add that to my gratitude list ;]. Live and learn. I've been writing letters to Mike lately. I do that from time to time, usually in the form of a poem, but not always. My mind just wandered over to that time in my life, and I wondered how I would explain it to him. It's embarrassing for me to confess this to him, but I know he'd forgive me. He knows I'm a sucker, and always protected me from people who would take advantage of me while he was alive. Actually, it got so weird, that it seems kind of funny now. When the ex boyfriend apologized [step 8, make amends], I thought of your experience with your ex. I couldn't stop smiling. I sincerely hope he changes his life. I could never date him again, though. I think he'd just slip back into his old domineering ways with me. We'd be bad for each other.
I've heard about the snow storm! My aunt in Wisc. got snowed in last night. Apparently, some of that is heading this way. They say we might have a white Christmas. Two snows in one year! That's got to be some kind of a record! We'll see.
Yea!!! on the diet! Wooohoo!!! This is the hardest time of year to do that. You should be proud. Do you reward yourself? Like with a massage or a candlelit bath or something?
oh yeah, this is another attempt at the style of poetry you write in, inspired by you :]
A few things went wrong over the holidays and I felt it was my fault and was so ashamed I wished I could just disappear.
They were relatively minor things, but I am very very sensitive to shame.
Thank you for writing poetry for me, in "my style".
:-D
I am not very good at rewarding myself for successes but very good at shaming myself for failures and just looking ahead to the next thing I want to accomplish rather than saying YAY!
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