The Hangover From Hell

A couple of Saturdays ago, my sister had a reception to celebrate her marriage [she eloped]. Caught up in all the festivities, I drank four glasses of wine. Granted, it was two more than I usually do, but it was over a period of seven or eight hours, which included dinner and dancing. I was sick for three days! Now, I did not stumble, vomit, pass out, or have memory blackout at any time during the evening. In fact, I can remember everything, and although I remember having a good time, I did not have enough fun to warrant a three day hangover. On Sunday, my brains sloshed so bad that I could not sit vertical without getting sick to my stomach. I was forced to remain horizontal for most of the day. Even on Wednesday, my eye lids still felt like lead balloons. To apply any pressure was painful. The worst part, though, was those day after voices that stab you all over with insecurities, telling you how stupid you are. I prayed that God help me to never drink again, because I well know that even though those voices are the most painful part, they are the easiest to forget.

The hard part is that I don't usually get sick like this when I drink, only every once in a while, and then I won't drink again for months, sometimes years. The last time this happened, I had kidney problems and went for about four months before having a drink again. It starts out slowly with only a drink or two socially, occasionally, maybe once every other week. It doesn't affect me, so after a while, I let my guard down; usually on a special occasion like this, where family comes in town, then we drink a couple of nights in a row, and I get sick. It causes my RA to flare up and joints to hurt, exasperates my chronic fatigue, screws up my kidneys, and drives my sugar levels crazy. The worst part is emotional, and what it does to my self esteem. It's obviously a problem.

So, I'm admitting that this problem has become unmanageable, and that I need God's help in avoiding alcohol.