Further thoughts on Abundance and Scarcity

Further thoughts on Abundance and Scarcity

We're back from our annual anniversary trip to Hamilton. I'm grateful that we were able to go and to have fun and to enjoy each other's company. Furthermore, I am grateful that they'd had plenty of rain, so that the waterfalls were full and impressive. AND I am grateful that although we lost 4 things while were there, we found all four of them again.

BB lost his glasses while we were hiking, looking for Albion Falls. He was bushwhacking. He discovered they were gone a long ways out and we retraced our steps looking for them and found them in the bushes. At the Botanical Gardens, We purchased a card for BB's Mom. It was a $5 homemade card and we really liked it. We left it with our coats while touring the greenhouses, and then went out to walk and when we were back at the motel, realized we didn't have it. We went back the next day and got it fromt he lost and found--that was a relief, Then BB lost his cell phone. He didn't discover it until evening when we'd been out and about all day. He made a trip back int he early morning but didn't find it. We went out hiking and I lost my lens cap and later found it. Then the phone rang and we found it--it had gotten lost in the car. The glasses would have been expensive to replace, but the cell phone would have been even worse, because he's grandfathered in in an inexpensive plan which is no longer avialble, so if he had to buy a new phone, it would have cost more every month! We had a great sense of abundance simply from getting back--and thus appreciating--what we already had! Seriously!

I was thinking about that list I'd made for what my abundant life would look like, and then was aware how many of those things I already had. I have a great deal of abundance in my life, but I also have scarcity at the same time.

from that list, here's what I have generally in abundance, or enough of to feel abundant:

• Enough food, shelter, clothing to stay warm and dry (not to be a fashion plate), money or means to acquire what I truly need.
• Love. Romantic/partner love. (BB) We generally have a good relationship.
• Hugs! Touching. BB is very sweetly affectionate.
• Creativity. Writing, poetry, art. Cooking. (Generally, I have enough, sometimes not).
• Trust.
• Beauty: The ability to see, perceive and enjoy beauty. And perhaps translate it.
• Possessions: I would like to have those things I need to live, love, cook, do art etc. Generally, I have plenty.

And here's what I need more of to feel "abundant:

• SLEEP! My insomnia has been really bad lately and it effects everything about my life. Negatively, including my general feelings of well-being and abundance. It's hard to feel like I have abundance when I am exhausted all the time.
  
• Good health. To really feel blessed and abundant, good health would be helpful.
• A lean healthy body. Probably not a necessity, but it sure would help.
• Nature and outdoors: I need to have some time in nature and be outdoors. We had a good dose of it this weekend, but normally, we don't get enough.
• Help! Growing and healing and coming to terms with my issues. And more support in this area from BB.
• Friendship. Connections. I left my friends behind when I moved here and have not made many new friends here--and those I have made are not good friends yet, and I rarely see them.
• Ways to “give back.” I would like to give back in ways that fit who I am and my lifestyle without taking too much away.
• Organization: to be able to complete tasks, I need to be more organized.
• good communication! this is one of the weak points in my relationship with BB and in my life.

And here are some items that I have both abundance and scarcity:

• Family. Connections. I have BB abd PB nearby, but my other children and the rest of my family is far away and I rarely see them.
• Smiles, laughter, sharing. Connections.
• Community. Connections.
• Meaningful, satisfying activities and work.
• Completion. The ability to one by one in an orderly fashion see my projects to fruition. I have a multitude of unfinished projects.
• Satisfaction: The ability to derive pleasure and satisfaction from daily accomplishments.
• Travel: I would like to be able to travel occasionally.
  

• Security: I know we never really have security, but I would like to change my mindset so I feel secure enough to give more freely, be more generous. Trust.
• Learning and exploration: I need to learn new things, explore new places.

In a way, everything fits into the last category. Abundance is a state of mind and my state of mind fluctuates. And whether I feel abundant depends on how I look at things. For example, money. RIght now we have "enough" money for our daily needs. But GM, where BB works, keeps laying people off and letting people go. So--do we have enough, when his job is in potential jeopardy? BB is 63 and I am 62. We have a college-bound 14-year-old. Do we have enough to send him to college and retire? Do we have enough for contingencies? Illness? Old age? (Probably NOT!)

If we look at what we have, we can feel that we have abundance. If we look at what we we need coming up, scarcity breathes its fiery breath down our backs. Because we're getting old, we're in increasing danger of losing life itself.

Still, if we live one day at a time, if we live in this moment, right now we're pretty OK. Not perfect--I'm up writing this early early because I had insomnia and wasn't sleeping. Been awake for hours trying to go back to sleep. On the other hand, there is snow outside, and wolves howling at the door--figuratively anyway, real snow--figurative wolves--and I am inside where it is warm, dry and light (It's still dark outside). I have a computer. I'm not always sure that's a blessing, but it is more than many people have. I have food, as I mentioned above. NEEDS, Barbara Kingsolver wrote, are so small as to rattle around in a bucket. Once we have our NEEDS met, abundance is an attitude.

I NEED SLEEP. The rest I can work on, make progress.

Gratitude List:

• I am grateful for the nice weekend we had
• I am grateful for the lost items that came back to us
• I am grateful for healthy delicious food--and for the omelet I'm going to make myself for breakfast soon.
• I am grateful for waterfalls
• I am grateful for trees and birds
• I am grateful for BB
• I am grateful for the nice music that PB makes. Last night I satu while he did his practicing simply listening to him play
• I am grateful BB reads to us.
• I am grateful for my children and their well-being.
• I am grateful for Blue Rose and Twelve &.
• I am grateful for poetry and art.
• I am grateful for beauty and the ability to appreciate it.