BB, PB and I are in the basement eating, talking, discussing, arguing. PB is watching TV. I am eating a yogurt which explodes in my hands, I am wearing white gloves and get going yogurt and red jelly all over my gloves. I run upstairs to clean up and BB is coming up too. There is a baby on the counter in a child seat(the counter is the exact same blue formica as our current counters, and the baby looks like Sophia, but her car seat is like the one BBJ had as a baby), BB is feeling the baby red jelly with a spoon and managing to block the sink so I can't get cleaned up. I wait at first, then try to squeeze by. The mess is getting worse and I feel desperate to clean up and I start having a tantrum. I beat BB on the chest with my first and and kick him in the shins and cry. He says, "Does this mean you don't want to go for a walk with me later and I say "Yes." "I mean no!" I am trying to say, 'Yes I want to go for a walk,' 'no I don't mean that!' but he has stormed out and can't hear me and I wake up all agitated and upset.
When I telll BB the dream, he says it's a classic Freudian dream about sex and the mess is jism and the dancing around is sex and the confusion is all the confusion brought on sex (and the baby is the result of sex).
I suppose you could interpret it that way, but I tend to think otherwise--or at least that there could be multiple interpretations. I think I am feeling guilty about the times I get angry at at BB and he done nothing intentionally to hurt me/ Mostly, he means well. I tend to be over sensitive and reactive, especially when I am tired.
(I am really tired right now, from baking all day--3 pies, cranberry marshmallow salad, chocolate wafer cake etc-- HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!)
I statements from dream:
- I can't get cleaned up!
- The mess is getting worse.
- I feel desperate about the mess!
- I am having a tantrum about the mess.
- I am having a tantrum because BB is blocking the way for me to get cleaned up. In the dream, he is in the way and I can't get to the sink. In my waking life. He is uncooperative (sometimes) about helping to clean and very uncooperative and stubborn and slow about dealing with Susan's stuff. I feel as if HE is in the way to my getting unpacked and settled in to this house. I need to find ways that I can proceed even without his help and cooperation, or I will be endlessly unhappy.
- I "hate" BB (during the tantrum)!
- I know I love him and will want to be with him later (as the tantrum subsides.)
- I am eating something that I'm allergic to. In the dream, I am eating yogurt, which I'm allergic to--this may mean in my waking life, i am eating something else I'm allergic to and need to pay attention to what that might be.)
- I am wearing white gloves. Gloves can signify security and abundance. White gloves can signify handling a situation with care. Messing gloves, especially white ones, can signify difficulties. White gloves can signify looking for messes. (I don't need to look very far!)
Here is that reoccurring theme of being disturbed and distraught by messiness! This was an upsetting dream! I really need to get a grip!
Gratitude List:
- three pies made--I made: apple cranberry, lemon meringue and bumbleberry pies
- salad (cranberry-marshmallow) and chocolate wafer cake made.
- BB is making dinner. YAY!
- I had two 15 minutes today
- I got a new light therapy lamp which is supposed to help my sleep. I hope it does.
10 comments:
This is a really interesting dream! The first thing that strikes me is that it starts downstairs [ie. the subconscience], and then moves upstairs [the conscience]. Basements and garages are often storage places. In dream terms, memories or past issues being stored in the subconscience. If that's the case, then BB and PB are representitive of different aspects of you, ie. the parts of you [or your past] that prevent you from cleaning things up. You have to run upstairs to clean things up. They follow you. Maybe you need to find a way to clean things up downstairs. The part of you that gets in the way is feeding the baby. In dream terms, he's taking care of your responsibilities symbolized by the baby. Taking care of responsibilities is getting in the way of cleaning things up. Red jelly could be the anger you feel guilty about, red being a passionate color. If that's the case, then the yogurt is something you feel guilty about, too. For me junk food is usually symbolic of time I spend on stupid or pointless things. Then again it could be guilt you feel when you eat things you know you shouldn't. I'll dream about eating desserts or smoking when I know I've been eating bad.
Sorry, we started to lose power, so I hit 'publish comment'. I didn't want to lose all that.
Anyway, there's a confusing battle going on between the different parts of you [assuming that's what they represent], and what you mean to say isn't getting said. In other words communication is hindered, and the other parts aren't getting the message, don't understand.
In my dreams, my sister can often be the judgemental side of me that judges myself harshly. It's usually in ignorance, because I'm not communicating with her. I have a lot of dreams with ladders and stairways that don't work, and I can't get from one place to the other. It's a lack of communication between my conscience and subconscience, because I'm refusing to see something about myself. So, it seems good that you can get up and down the stairs. It's just that the mess doesn't get cleaned up where it happens. Maybe you could ask your dreams to show you how to clean it up.
Then again, I could be way off. Just a thought ;]
I was going to come back and discuss some of what you said here--I was thinking a bit about how dreams often represent parts of yourself (myself, in this case) and was going to look at this and also the upstairs downstairs stuff--I didn't really have time to finish thinking about it--but I've been so darned busy lately. Aiee.
Thanks for all the great feedback. I had bridges that are unfinished or broken--a lot of those--not so many stairways or ladders.
I can\t remember the last time I ate yogurt in waking life.
Because I sleep so poorly, I don't get as many good dreams as I used to. But I'll ask about cleaning up the mess in the basement.
In my waking life, things are getting out of control and messy because I've been so busy. But things inside are messy too. Maybe a reflection.
I need to ask myself, how am I like BB--EG: HOW AM I GETTING IN MY OWN WAY?
Sometimes I HATE MYSELF for the mess--like I "hated" BB in the dream.
And "What are the parts of my past that prevent me from cleaning things up? How can I heal them?"
I am literally doing an archeological dig into my own past by unpacking boxes full of old papers, letters, drawings etc and trying to get rid of some and store others in a better way.
Today I read some of an old journal that made me cry for most of the rest of the day. These things could be affecting my dreams!
I know exactly how you feel. I just spent the last year in therapy figuring out my dreams. They told me so much, and I was able to resolve some issues through them. One of the things that helped the most was when you told me that I could ask my dreams to clarify things for me. Another thing that helped was having a therapist with resources to listen to my dreams and ask questions. Sometimes someone else may pick up on a detail that you overlook. And, obviously, I'm always happy to throw my 2 cents in ;].
I think it's good that you're going through your old things right now. I have a feeling it's not coincidental, that your subconscience had something to do with the timing, especially since your sleep is so disrupted. These things normally get sifted through while you sleep, but if you don't sleep well, you can't work 'downstairs', so your subconscience may be motivating you to work on unpacking the old boxes. I'm fascinated in the way our subconsciences are so symbolic.
Well, that brought a smile to my face!!!!
Yesterday when I was reading my old journal, I had to put it down. I cried and howled repeatedly throughout the day. I couldn't pick it up again. But of course, I will have to.
I think, though, that I made need to set this work aside until after Christmas--so much to be done to prepare for Christmas.
I tried to post some stuff earlier today and it didn't post. I may try again. The last couple times I did that, then the fist post appeared and there were two identical ones. If that happens, I will delete the extra eventually, so don't comment on both of them.
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