Thursday, May 15, 2008

4th step continued

Ornery is a good word.  I am definitely ornery

I am grouchy and grumpy more often than I would like.  And Cranky!

I am not as loving and forgiving and generous and serene and happy and cheerful as I wish I were.

Sometimes I am cheery and energetic.  But not that often. 

I want to be kind and nice and spontaneously loving and cheery and welcoming.  I really want that.

I complain too much.

I do not praise others and myself often enough.

I am MESSY--very messy.

I tend to start a lot of things and not finish them.  This is a really really BAD fault of mine.  One I need to work on for sure.

I put art and creativity above a clean orderly house.  This has its DISADVANTAGES when I can't find important things.

I have ADHD!

I procrastinate.  I keep myself overly busy, and this contributes to procrastination--cause I can only do one thing at a time so other things are getting neglected.

I am oversensitive and get angry, hurt, depressed too easily.

I am obese.  :-(  UNhealthy!

I have sleep apnea and insomnia and a brain tumor.  This is part of my moral inventory, because the sleep apnea is caused in part by my obesity which is caused by overeating which is one of my faults, even though it is a DISEASE I have.  It's all interrelated.


OK, one of my 4th step guides says to list at least one good thing about yourself for every bad thing, so here are some good things:

  • I am VERY creative
  • I am imaginative
  • I work VERY HARD at my art, poetry, writing, once I get going at it.
  • I am very loving (except when I am angry)
  • I am a good cook
  • I enjoy pleasing other people (but in a balanced and appropriate way, usually)
  • I walk every day (good for my health)
  • I eat generally healthy foods
  • I work at keeping the family(ies) together
  • I am relatively frugal most of the time.  I do not overspend for the most part, and do not have any personal debt.
  • I am intelligent.  (However, my memory is not as good as it used to be.)
OK, that's enough for now.  I will come back to this later.  As in sometime.  When I can.  I haven't had breakfast yet and need to EAT!  HALT!  I'm getting over-hungry!  AK.  But I figured if I didn't do it now, when would I?  Each one of these things requires further exploration!

4 comments:

bluerose said...

By my count, your short 4 good things, so I'm gonna help you out.

How 'bout caring. You care enough to want to be loving and welcoming, etc., to the people around you. [not self centered]

And, honest. Honest enough to see things about yourself that most people refuse to look at within themselves.

Then your willing to try to do things to change them, including abstinance from your addiction.

Conscientious about your role in the family, society, and ecologically [you always mention flowers, sunshine, sky, trees, etc. in your grattitude lists].

I'm glad you wrote this. It helps me understand the 4th step better. I'm going to try to write mine similar to how you did this. Thanks.

bluerose said...

ornery... how a steer gets when he's poked with a cattle prod, how Houstonians get in August's mid afternoon rush hour traffic, and how I get once a month ;].

It is a good word

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

WOW! Thank you! I really appreciate your loving supportive attitude! And your love and support! LOL!

THANKS! :-D

And your positive, cheerful attitude!

:-D YAY!

DO you tell YOURSELF the same kinds of loving supportive things?

I hope so!

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I no longer have monthly orneriness.


Instead, I'm ornery all the time, LOL!