The Players

From Addictions A-Z:

Who are the Players?

The cycle of Addiction and Codependency with alcoholics or any other type of addict requires three main people/groups of people:

1. The Enablers:
   •  those who allow /excuse/ finance/ bailout the alcoholic/addict.
2. The Persecutors:
   • those who stir up the pot in order to put the alcoholic/addict on the defense and look for a way out of the pain.
3. The Victims:
   •  those who wallow in the excuse that someone is abusing/picking on/insulting/not recognizing their good qualities.

In the normal cycle of addicted relationships the enablers, the persecutors and the victims occupy all these roles at various times and to varying degrees - the fact that all persons switch roles makes it very difficult to assess anything until a crisis occurs.

Hi, I'm Nikki, and I have a problem with addictions. 
4th step:  I have played all these roles and still do.  Sometimes I get stuck in one of them for a while, and lately, I am playing the victim role to some extent.  Everyone keeps being mean to poor little me.  It seems that way, sometimes, but it is a perceptual thing and I need to work on my perceptions and attitudes.  Everyone is just being themselves with their strengths and shortcomings, their issues and tiredness, etc.  I tend to be over-sensitive and take things personally.  (I have been pretty good lately at getting over perceived hurts a little faster and forgiving sooner.)