Personal Post, The Third Step

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol/drugs/food/gambling/other people(etc)—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I have trouble with all these steps. I have to do them over and over. Today I admit I am powerless over food and addictive behaviors and time management and other people and their issues. I believe that the power of love, that a higher power, could restore me to sanity, even though I hate admitting that my behavior isn't sane.

*eating when I am not hungry is not sane
*eating foods I am allergic to is not sane
*eating foods that make me sick is not sane
*arguing with someone who doesn't listen is not sane

I have to remind myself of this, because I feel sane and lucid, and I feel in control until I look closely at my own behavior.

So, once again, I take steps one and two, and I hereby turn myself, my life, and my will over to a loving higher power--to love, goodness and God. Let me know the will of love and do as Jesus and/or Buddha would do. I hereby take step 3 yet again.

There is a saying or slogan around the 12-step rooms that says: "The first step is the only step anyone can work perfectly." I don't even think I can work the first step perfectly. I have to look really hard to say that I am powerless over food etc and that my life is unmanageable--and it gets even harder after that.